Following the recent death of Friends star Matthew Perry, there has been an outpouring of grief all over the world, from both those that knew him and those that had never met him. So why are we so deeply affected when a beloved celebrity dies?
Mourning a celebrity we admire is a genuine and valid form of loss, and should be acknowledged. Friends and family may often not understand it, but for those who feel a celebrity's passing deeply, it is real grief and a unique form of personal loss, even though we didn't know them. But why do we experience this?
With television, film, radio and magazines, these stars can become part of our everyday lives. They exist in our living rooms, for hours at a time, or on the big screen, in interviews and spotlights, and we feel we know them. You may see your favourite stars more than your own family sometimes, so it's logical that we should feel a loss when they're gone.
For some, losing a beloved celebrity is their first experience of the loss of someone special. You may imagine that celebrity as your mother, sister or daughter, and envision the feeling of loss for the real person in your life. Almost like a dress rehearsal, this feeling of loss shows us what it would be like to lose someone close to us and can bring about feelings of grief and bereavement.
It's common, in Western societies in particular, to avoid talking about loss and death and shy away from the topic. We gloss over grief and loss, and don't discuss it with friends and family for risk of upsetting them. With the death of a celebrity very much in the public eye, this facade is gone. Instead, you often have a community feeling of grief, an outpouring of emotion for everyone who felt connected to this person. This is a much more public form of grief, and can allow an outlet for your feelings of loss. If you're already feeling vulnerable, then the multitude of social media posts and television coverage can magnify these feelings.
It might be that the celebrity died in a way that resonates, either from the loss of a loved one previously, or perhaps from a health condition that can affect our own lives. Their death may make us think about our mortality, especially if they were close to us in age, which can bring a lot of emotions to the surface.
Many people mourning Matthew Perry are talking about how watching Friends got them through a difficult time in their own lives. Whether it be a comedy show, music or poetry, their work might have brought us comfort, or helped us celebrate a particular time. With them gone, we know this won't be possible in the future, so we mourn the loss of this support.
Losing a celebrity we feel close to or connected to can be a genuine and painful loss. If you need to talk, don't forget you can connect with GriefChat via our website, expert bereavement counsellors who you can connect with for free, as often as you need.
Image Credit: Policy Exchange on Flickr
