Those occasion days of the year, like Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries, can be incredibly difficult when you’re bereaved. We call them milestone moments, special days that can be bittersweet, as you remember that person with love but miss them all at the same time.
Navigating those milestone moments can be tricky for you and those around you who want to support you. We’ve shared our top tips for surviving the day (and the period beforehand) to help make it as stress-free as possible.
Whether you want to mark the day and remember that special person, or hide away from the world, that’s up to you – and either option is absolutely fine. It’s best to let family and friends know ahead of time, so they don’t try and arrange something that would make you uncomfortable, or, conversely, steer away from the day when you do want to talk about it.
People often avoid these conversations because they don't want to upset you; starting the conversation yourself can make the whole situation more manageable.
Ultimately, the most important thing is remembering your father, father figure or child in a way you feel comfortable. If you want to mark the day, light a candle, visit one of their favourite places, eat a favourite meal in their honour, or even add a virtual gift on your MuchLoved tribute page, that’s absolutely fine. Death ends a life, not a relationship, so it’s important that you can remember your loved one however you wish.
The run-up to Father’s Day can often be as difficult as the day itself, when you’re inundated by gift adverts, or social media posts and ads to celebrate the day, so limiting your access to these channels – at least for a little while - might be an easier option. Similarly, pubs and restaurants are likely to be full of those marking the day, so you might want to plan where you will be on the day if you‘re struggling. Planning to be at home with friends or planning an activity to keep you busy could help.
Although the day can be very hard, it can also be a good opportunity to remember that person, and celebrate their life. Other people grieving for them might like to connect and reminisce and share stories and memories, making the day a bit easier. Could you make some new traditions to take place every year to remember the person you love?
You could also connect with family and friends worldwide through your MuchLoved page, either by lighting candles on their tribute page, adding videos and stories to remember them, or even by organising a memorial event – which can all be done quickly and easily through your page. You can add virtual ‘gifts’ and ‘cards’ to their page, and change the theme of their page for the day. Add new photos to your gallery, and ask others to add their recollections and memories, to build your page for long into the future. If you need any help with any of these ideas please don’t hesitate to contact the MuchLoved team; we’ll be happy to help.
If you know someone who has recently lost their Dad or might find Father's Day a difficult time, get in touch. Simply letting them know you're thinking of them and giving them someone to talk to if they want can be enough.
We offer free online bereavement counselling via our website, in partnership with bereavement care experts GriefChat. Connect to a trained counsellor for free, as many times as you need. Visit our website to find out more.
